You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think my moral compass just broke
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
