Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I'm really busy with my period
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