I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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