He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
