so that wasnt chicken after all
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
