We're like a lot better than the average bears
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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