I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
