I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize