I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
