I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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