Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
