First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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