Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
