is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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