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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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