Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
is wine microwaveable?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
