Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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