I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
