It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
