My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
