I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
