what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
