Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
