remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
