man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
