I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
