He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
