My room smells like vodka and shame
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
