Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
