Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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