sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i need some magic done to my vagina
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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