it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
