I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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