I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
