I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
