so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
