hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
