spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
