yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize