i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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