so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
