we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize