Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
