Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize