Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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