Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
