On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
