I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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