i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
