just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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