yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
