Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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