we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
