I am puke
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize