Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
