capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
