Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
