Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize