Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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