she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We had sex on a dog bed..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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