For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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