so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
