why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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